Spring Cleaning: 50 Things To Do Now That College Basketball Season Is Done
Seasonal depression is a real thing. Unfortunately for me, it isn’t after the 23rd snowstorm of the winter in February, but instead after the Final Four in the middle of April.
As I’ve mentioned many times, I tend to love all sports, and can find an excuse to watch just about anything involving a bat, ball or racquet. Well, as long as Joe Buck and Tim McCarver aren’t announcing it anyway.
But really, college football and college basketball are where I’ll always make my hay. They’re the sports I grew up around, the sports I delve the deepest into, the sports that I truly love. Don’t get me wrong, I like the NBA and MLB. But I love college football and college basketball. More than my own family, actually.
And it’s for those reasons, why I always end up with seasonal depression this time of year. Starting in August I immerse myself in those two sports, read every relevant article, pick the brains of friends, follow the teams and players, and then… mid-April hits, and in the snap of a finger, it’s all over. I even wrote an article on this exact subject last year. It really is a bummer.
Now before I go any further, understand that just because college basketball and college hoops are done, doesn’t mean this website will shut down. Quite the opposite actually. I hope to dig a little deeper into the spring football scene, and honestly, as long as there are interesting things going on in the NBA and baseball (which there always will be), I’ll be writing about them too. If you guys should’ve learned anything by now, it’s that I’m one opinionated S.O.B. And as long as there are opinions to be had, I will be sharing them. Whether you like it or not.
Still, it doesn’t mean my seasonal depression will be easy to deal with. Luckily, I’m much better prepared to deal with it this year than I was last, and have even decided to make a list of things I hope to accomplish between now and the start of the college football season in August.
Some of the things on this list are realistic, and some probably aren’t. But remember, you can’t start accomplishing your goals until you figure out what they are!
Here are 50 things I hope to accomplish this spring…
1. Learn how to spell Charl Schwartzel’s name without having to look it up.
2. Apply for the vacant University of Miami basketball coaching job.
3. Set up a lemonade stand to help pay off some of the debt from my trip to the Final Four last week.
4. Convince Kemba Walker to come back to college for one more year.
5. Try and talk Manny Ramirez out of retirement.
6. Skip the Subway diet. Pick up the C.C. Sabathia diet.
7. Help however I can, with the NFL with their labor negotiations.
8. Once again convince myself that I’ll start following the NHL playoffs, then watch four minutes of one game, and turn it off until next year.
9. Help Rory McIlroy find his dignity.
10. Do my best to black out Butler’s National Championship Game performance.
11. Kick it with Stephen Garcia.
12. Try to watch an entire Daisuke Matsuzaka start without throwing my remote, or kicking my poor dog.
13. Plant a garden.
14. Finally go and get my oil changed, after saying I’d do it since September.
15. Read Tim Tebow’s memoirs.
16. Write my own memoirs.
17. Finally get in touch with that Saudi Arabian prince whose been e-mailing me about the fortune I’ve got stashed in a bank in the UK.
18. Grow a Brian Wilson-esque beard.
19. Get depressed when I realize that you could give me until 2073, and I still wouldn’t be able to grow a beard half as cool as Brian Wilson’s.
20. Listen to Ron Jaworski’s ESPN NFL Draft coverage for at least 20 minutes, before hitting mute and trying to suffocate myself with a plastic bag.
21. Get hooked on the new reality TV show, “Khloe and Lamar.”
22. Convince Chad Ochocinco to start our own reality show, the “AT-Ocho Show.”
23. Work on my Les Miles jokes for the fall.
24. Work on my Charlie Weis jokes for the fall.
25. Do some yard work (And by “yard work,” I mean, let the grass grow up to my knees, then finally cut it after my neighbors threaten to light my house on fire if I don’t.)
26. Help Larry Brown find his next job…even if it is making sandwiches at Subway.
27. Go for a hike, and try not to pass out after 200 feet.
28. Wonder aloud why anyone still calls Theo Epstein “The Boy Genius.” Especially considering that at 36-years-old, he’s no longer a boy, and if last year’s signings of John Lackey and Mike Cameron prove anything, it’s that he’s certainly not a genius.
29. Begin setting up funeral arrangements for the 2011 Boston Celtics season.
30. Make a few trips to the gym…rather than just talking about going.
31. Visit the Jersey Shore.
32. Think of a clever nickname for my abs.
33. Watch the “Pony Excess,” documentary at least 37 more times, and marvel at how, like a fine wine, it only gets better with age.
34. Try to enjoy some fine wine. Rather than just drinking it out of a box.
35. Get really into college baseball for two weeks during the College World Series…then proceed to forget about it for the next 11 months.
36. Finish “The Extra 2%,” a book I’m halfway through, that’s been an awesome read so far.
37. Cancel my spring break trip to Libya. Demand refund from Delta.
38. For the third summer in a row, try to teach myself the intricacies of UFC. Proceed to fail miserably.
39. Try and watch an entire inning of Seattle Mariners baseball without changing the channel…or reaching for a brown paper bag.
40. Stay away from LeBron James’ mom at all costs.
41. Try to make it to at least one Major League ballpark I’ve never been to before (I hit Nationals Park and Camden Yards last summer).
42. Convince a local tattoo artist to give me free tattoos in return for autographed copies of my articles.
43. Permanently erase any e-mail I’ve ever sent to Jim Tressel.
44. Get really, really upset after remembering that Greg Robinson won’t be coaching college football next fall.
45. Get really, really excited after remembering that Steve Kragthorpe is LSU’s new offensive coordinator.
46. Help Bartolo Colon lose that “last five pounds,” he just can’t seem to get rid of.
47. Console a disconsolate Mets fan.
48. Live Blog the 2011 WNBA Draft.
49. Continue to bring you the best content I can on this website (podcasts, articles)…starting tomorrow.
50. Hang out with my family…
Naw, let’s not get carried away here...
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