| 12 August 2011
Ok, so I know that some of you don’t like Colin Cowherd.
Ok, most of you.
Ok, none of you.
But you know what? I actually don’t think the guy is so bad.
Sure he’s pompous, egotistical and occasionally goes on mean-spirited rants. Quite frankly, he doesn’t seem to a guy that’d be very fun to get a beer with. But you’ve got to also understand that that’s just his shtick. It wouldn’t make for good radio if Cowherd agreed with what everyone said, and was always kissing his guests butts.
At the same time, what I like about him is that he’s thoughtful, and definitely looks at sports in a way most people don’t. He’s interesting. And he approaches things in different and unique ways that no one else does.
One of those different and unique ideas came in a segment on his radio show last Friday. In it, Cowherd claimed that every NFL team could be described in three words, and three words only. As he explained at the time:
“With four words you can soften,” he said. “With four words, you can weaken. Three words forces you to be brutally honestly. And you can go through every single professional sports franchise in America and three words would describe it.”
He then continued, “You could probably do it with every girl you’ve ever dated. (For example) ‘Smokin, but dim.’ ‘Really, really, cool.’ ‘Down to Earth.’”
Tt was an interesting segment, and got me thinking. Mainly, “Why couldn’t I do that with college football?” And that’s exactly what I tried here.
Understand that every analogy isn’t perfect, and the wording might not be exactly right. But the point is, that yes, you can describe a college football team in three words. And you can describe them pretty well.
Here is every team in a BCS conference (as well as a few extras at the end), described in three words.
ACC:
Atlantic:
Boston College: Montel, Then Who?
Clemson: Dabo, It’s Time
Florida State: Everything’s In Place
Maryland: Randy Edsall? Really?
NC State: Finally Glennon’s Turn
Wake Forest: I’ve Got Nothing…
Coastal:
Duke: Better Score Points
Georgia Tech: Pass The Ball!
Miami: Jacory Will Improve
North Carolina: Everett, You’re Up!
Virginia: So Many Issues
Virginia Tech: Another League Title?
Big XII:
Baylor: Robert Griffin’s Show!
Iowa State: Poor Paul Rhodes
Kansas: Why Bother Playing?
Kansas State: Brown Brothers Reunite!
Missouri: Something Seems Off
Oklahoma: National Championship Favorites
Oklahoma State: Problematic Without Holgorsen
Texas A&M: Worry About Football
Texas: Find A Quarterback!
Texas Tech: Irrelevant Without Leach
Big East:
Cincinnati: Butch Ain’t Kelly
Connecticut: No Expectations Whatsoever
Louisville: Freshmen Will Contribute
Pitt: So Long Wanny!
Rutgers: Long Fall Ahead.
South Florida: Schedule Is Manageable
Syracuse: Stop Getting Arrested!
West Virginia: Holgo’s My Boy!
Big Ten:
East (We Don’t Use The “L” Words Here at Aaron Torres Sports):
Illinois: Zook? Oh My…
Indiana: Wilson’s Making Moves
Ohio State: Ready For Football!
Penn State: McGloin? Bolden? Uhh-ohh!!!!!
Purdue: Barely Any “Hope.”
Wisconsin: Russell’s The Difference
West (Again, No “L” Words Here)
Iowa: Going To Surprise
Michigan: Dangerous By November
Michigan State: Sell, Don’t Buy
Minnesota: Kill Inherits Grease-fire
Nebraska: Overwhelmingly Tough Schedule
Northwestern: Persa! Fitzgerald! Underrated!
Pac-12:
North:
Cal: Twelve Road Games…
Oregon: Willie Lyles Hangover?
Oregon State: Another Killer Schedule
Stanford: Really Missing Harbaugh
Washington: Skill Positions Key
Washington State: Tuel Tosses Bombs
South:
Arizona: Foles’ Still Around?
Arizona State: Avoid Burfict’s Punches!
Colorado: Players Love Embree
UCLA: Update Rick’s Resume
USC: Barkley! Woods! Buying
Utah: Much Tougher Road
SEC East:
Florida: Can Brantley Improve?
Georgia: Out Of Excuses
Kentucky: When’s basketball start?
South Carolina: Heavy East Favorites
Tennessee: A Year Away
Vanderbilt: Give Franklin Time
SEC West:
Alabama: Who’s Playing Quarterback?
Arkansas: No Knile? Trouble…
Auburn: Trust This Staff
LSU: Beware That Schedule
Ole Miss: Nutt’s Last Stand?
Mississippi State: West Record Bleak…
Various Others:
Air Force: Run, Baby, Run
Boise State: Won’t Go Undefeated
BYU: Heaps Makes Leap
Hawaii: Moniz Always Entertaining
Navy: Love Ken Niumatalolo
Notre Dame: Should Meet Expectations
San Diego State: Talent Still There
TCU: Always Trust Patterson
What’d ya think? Does three words work?
What are some of your three word thoughts on your favorite college football teams?
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