| 30 August 2010
Looking for a reason to be excited about college football season? How about 50 instead?
1. Because With Games Underway: We're finally talking about something other than agents and conference expansion. And not a moment too soon.
2. The Alabama Crimson Tide Going For A Second Straight National Title: We haven't technically had a repeat champion since Nebraska pulled off the feat in the mid-90's (Although USC fans would say otherwise). Regardless, are you betting against Nick Saban? Because I'm sure not.
3. Les Miles Jokes: Nobody likes cracking wise on the LSU coach more than this guy. Believe me. At the same time, if the Tigers don't beat North Carolina this weekend, it could get really ugly in Baton Rouge.
4. The Ron Zook Farewell Tour: Wait, what's that? He hasn't gotten fired yet? Just give it three months.
5. Utah Defensive Tackle Paul Kruger: Why is an obscure defensive tackle from a Mountain West school this high on the list? Because just hearing his name made me think of Mr. Kruger from Seinfeld. Which gave me a reason to watch this video.
6. West Virginia Head Coach Bill Stewart: Who I've decided that from now on, will only be referred to as, "Coach Paul Blart." Who's with me?
7. With Football Back, You've Finally Got Something To Gamble On Besides Baseball: Or golf. Or tennis. Or the WNBA.
Oh God, you weren't actually gambling on the WNBA? Were you?
8. The John Brantley Era Is Officially Underway At Florida: Everyone wants to know if he'll be able to replace Tim Tebow on the field. But what I want to know, is if he'll be able to lead the pre-game prayers like Tebow did? That's the million dollar question.
9. Speaking Of Florida: On a serious note, it's good to see Urban Meyer healthy and back on the sideline after last year's health scare. College football wouldn't have been as much fun without him.
10. The Wacky Pac-10: Where anyone can beat anyone else on any given night. Unless you're Washington State. Then you're just screwed.
11. TCU's Andy Dalton: Easily one of my five favorite red-headed quarterbacks in college football this year.
12. Boise State-Virginia Tech On Labor Day: I haven't been this excited about anything since my first strip club visit back in '04.
13. Another Simms Under Center: This time it's Matt, Chris' brother and Phil's son, who'll be playing quarterback at Tennessee this fall. I just hope he can avoid taking hits like this.
14. College Football Final: There's no better way to end every Saturday from September to December, then laying and watching some College Football Final. Unless of course, you don't like Mark May. Or Lou Holtz. Or both. In which case, you should probably just skip the show altogether.
15. The Hype Surrounding New Kentucky Coach Joker Phillips: You know who's getting significantly less hype? His defensive coordinator, the Riddler.
16. No More Bobby Bowden: I know it's blasphemy for me to talk bad about the legendary coach, but I don't care, it was time for him to go.
And for those who disagree with me, fine. But at the same time, this is the same man who referred to going to the movies as, "Going to the picture show," on College Football Live last week. Would you really want a guy like that running your program? I didn't think so.
17. James Kirkendoll and Malcolm Williams: Or as I like to call them "Reasons 1A and 1B," why Garrett Gilbert will do just fine as the new quarterback at Texas.
18. Navy Quarterback Ricky Dobbs: Go ahead and look up the numbers this guy has put up. There's a reason that some are calling him the "People's Choice For the Heisman Trophy."
19. As For Aaron's Choice For The Heisman Trophy: I really don't know, the thing is wide open. Although, I have gone on the record and said that I think Wisconsin's John Clay is a great long shot pick.
20. Georgia Running Back Washaun Ealey: I know he just got arrested, but I just couldn't keep him off this list. If only because, "Washaun," is just about the coolest name I've ever heard.
21. Because There's No Brett Favre Talk In College Football: Well, unless you include his nephew Dylan Favre, a freshman quarterback at Mississippi State this year...
We really can't get away from this guy, can we?
22. Seantrel Henderson's Debut: Last year's top high school recruit was supposed to go to USC. Then he wasn't. Then he wasn't sure. Now he's at Miami. Here's an idea, how about you just shut up and play? How's that sound?
23. October 2nd: Texas vs. Oklahoma and Florida vs. Alabama on the same day? As Terrell Owens would say, "Getcha Popcorn Ready!"
24. Nebraska Coach Bo Pelini: I'm terrified of the guy, and I don't even play for him. Either way, Nebraska is in good hands for a very long time. Believe me.
25. Speaking of Being In Good Hands, There's New Notre Dame Coach Brian Kelly Too: As someone who watched Kelly work his magic first-hand at Cincinnati, trust me when I say Notre Dame fans: This is the guy you've been waiting for.
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26. Ryan Mallett's Right Arm: There aren't five guys in the NFL that toss the pigskin around better than Mallett. As I always say, "If he's playing, I'm watching."
27. Iowa Quarterback Ricky Stanzi: Quick side note, doesn't "Ricky Stanzi," sound like a 1950's lounge singer? Like someone that would've hung out with 
Buddy Holly or something?
Ok, I'll just go ahead and shut up now.
28. CBS Broadcaster Verne Lundquist: I know he butchers just about 15 names every game, but whatever, I love the guy. We can never have too much Verne Lunquist in our lives.
29. Patrick Petersen: Or as Lunduqist might call him, "Peter Patrickson." Either way, he's the nastiest cornerback in college football. And as good a reason as any, why LSU fans shouldn't give up on their season just yet.
30. Matt Barkley: First Matt Leinart. Then Mark Sanchez. And now this guy? Would it kill USC to recruit one quarterback who doesn't make my girlfriend go into heat every time they come onto the TV screen? Is that too much to ask? Is it!
31. Nick Foles: Also known as "The ugliest man in college football." Ahh, much better.
32. The Return Of Mark Herzlich At BC: We always call athletes "hero's," only this guy really is one. It doesn't matter if he makes a single tackle for Boston College in 2010. His return from cancer may be the best story in college football this year.
33. The UCLA Bruins: Is anybody else buying these guys this year? Because I'm sure not.
34. Zach Collaros: Maybe the single most terrifying player in college football to bet on or against. He's literally capable of anything. 400 yards passing. 300 yards rushing. Five touchdowns. Four interceptions. Whatever.
But as much fun as Collaros had last year filling in for Tony Pike, is he ready to be "The Man," at Cincinnati?
35. Re-Runs of ESPN's "Training Days": Admit it, you were riveted by ESPN's coverage of Nick Saban's fall camp at Alabama. But with all the swearing that Saban did in those two hours, you know who probably wasn't riveted? Tony Dungy.
36. Pittsburgh Defensive End Jabaal Sheard: Remember when he threw a guy through a glass window this summer? Yeh, that's no laughing matter. Except for the fact that the incident happened...(wait for it)...at an art gallery!!! Seriously!
Can someone please explain to me what could've happened at an art gallery that pissed Sheard off so much that he decided to THROW A GUY THROUGH A WINDOW!!!!
What, did the guy complain about Rembrant's brush strokes? Did he confuse a Renaissance Era piece of art with the Baroque period? Can someone please give me an explanation? Anyone?
37. Jacquizz Rodgers: He's 5 foot nothing. 100 nothing. Without an ounce of athletic ability!
Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration. But still, if you can't root for the 5'6 Oregon State running back, just go away. We don't want you here.
38. No More Mark Mangino or Charlie Weis: Leaving only Ralph Friedgen as the butt of all my fat jokes this season.
39. Case Keenum: Please, please PLEASE don't tell me this guy is a system quarterback. I don't care. He completed 70 percent of his passes, and threw for 1,000 yards more than any other quarterback in college football last year! Whatever system is it that they run at Houston, the guy can play.
40. Nevada's Offense: They return nine starters off a team that averaged 38 points per game last year, and had two 1,000 yard rushers. Who's ready to bet some Over's with me??
41. Michigan State's Depleted Roster: With so many guys off last year's team now in the state pen, I'm thinking it's time to do a "Longest Yard: East Lansing," remake.
42. Georgia Tech's Josh Nesbitt: I've heard many analysts call Nesbitt the single most important player to his team in college football this year. I for one, do not disagree.
43. Jake Locker: Can't help but love the kid's skills. You know what I don't love? Washington's road games at USC, Oregon and Arizona. That alone is what takes U Dub out of the Pac-10 title race.
44. Jeremiah Masoli and Ole Miss: I've already written a seperate column about it, so I won't go into too much detail here. I'm just glad the guy got a second chance, and hope he's cleared by the NCAA sometime soon. If that happens, and Houston Nutt actually figures out how to use him correctly (a big if), I don't think the SEC knows exactly what they're in for.
45. UConn Football: I don't want to sound like too much of a homer. But as an alumnus, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention my own school, who'll field their best team ever this season.
46. The Georgia Bulldogs: I've seen some writers make the case that Georgia is going to win the SEC East. I've seen others say the 'Dawgs are going to finish 7-5. Truthfully, I wouldn't be surprised by either. This is the single most fascinating team in college football this year.
47. June Jones at SMU: Sure it's not as fun to watch Jones pace the sidelines without a Hawaiian shirt on, but still, the guy is a damn good coach. If I was Texas Tech I'd be afraid of the Mustangs heading into this weekend. Very afraid.
48. The Miami (OH) Redhawks: Quick question: If you're a Miami fan, what's worse? Your 1-11 disaster last season. The fact that you open at Florida this season. Or that Ben Roethlisberger is arguably your most famous alumnus?
49. Chris, Lee and Kirk: Come on admit it, Saturday mornings weren't as fun without them. Especially last week when you were stuck watching the Little League World Series.
50. This Thursday: Is this finally the year that Steve Spurrier turns the corner at South Carolina? What will Lane Kiffin's first USC team look like? Can Pitt go to Utah and steal a victory? We start finding out the answers just a few days from now!
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